The 3 miracles!

It has been quite sometime since I've posted something on this blog...I was busy the last 6 months or so

preparing for my MS Ophthalmology exams. I'm happy to say I have passed my exams with flying

colours. This degree has meant a lot to me. I think I have finally found something I'm truly passionate

about.My experience over the last 3 years of residency in Regional Institute of Ophthalmology,

Kolkata in has been some of the best years of my professional life.I've learnt so many things and also

realised how much potiential I have to change people's lives. Today I want to share three stories during

my residency in which I was instrumental in somebody's happiness and which brings immense

satisfaction to me. There are many many more but I dont want to bore you with it all. These 3 stories

are what i call miracles not only for those patients but also how it changed my outlook towards my

profession.

Miracle 1 : When i was ending the 1st yr of my residency, I had just started doing cataract

surgeries independently and confidently. One day in the OPD a woman about 60 yrs of age entered who had mature cataracts in both eyes. In fact she was so blind that she had to be supported by 2 people into

the OPD room. For all practical purposes she was totally handicapped. I examined her and did the work

up and got her admitted. My boss gave me the opportunity to operate on her.i operated on both eyes

just a week apart from each other. The day after i operated on the second eye i entered the wards

early in the morning and observed the most beautiful sight in the world. That same patient who needed 2

people to support her everywhere was running around the wards excitedly laughing and talking to all the

other patients. The patient and their relatives somehow knew i was the one who operated on her. They

were so thankful to me that I was touched. That was the the most satisfying moment of my

professional life until then.

Miracle 2 : It was sometime during the second year of my residency. A 22yr old woman came to

our OPD. She had a condition called Congenital Blepharoptosis of one eye, where one of the eyelids

cannot be lifted like the other hence creating an asymetry in her facial features. Its not a life-

threatening or a significant visual handicap but it made an unsightly appearance due to which she was not

getting married. Lot of hospitals had refused to operate on her saying its a cosmetic problem and was

finally referred to my institute since its a govt institute and the patient was poor. I personally took up

the case and worked it up and my boss as he has always done entrusted me with the operation. I

operated on her and the operation was a huge success and it improved her appearance manifold. She

was discharged and I had almost forgotten about it. Then one day about 5 months later when i was

seeing patients in the OPD, that woman with her father had searched the whole hospital looking for me

and finally found me in the OPD. They had come to invite me to her wedding which was fixed after the

operation. This was such a humbling experience. That day I realised that no problem of

the patient is small and that we have so much power to change their lives if we show empathy to

their woes.

Miracle 3 : I was in my final year of residency and was working in a retina unit. A depressed

young woman walked into our OPD. She had a painful blind eye which needed to be removed. She had an

unsightly eye since childhood due to an accident and was very depressed with how it looked. I wanted to

remove the eye and have an artificial prosthesis fitted so that it looked like a normal eye. My present

boss was not that enthusiastic since in government hospitals due to the high case loads, they often

remove a painful eye and leave it like that without thinking of the social stigma it may cause. And being a

retina surgeon he was not sure whether it would turn out well. But I persisted and finally convinced him

to admit that patient. I operated on that eye and fitted an implant and prosthesis. It was a success. in 2

months time she had a prosthetic eye and nobody looking at her would have realised she did not have an

eye. Even my boss who was skeptical initially was very impressed. I was travelling in the metro after work one evening and that woman and her husband approached me there. I almost didnt recognize them. Both of them were looking so happy and they were so grateful.

I wish i could have captured their joy in my camera but couldnt. This was the best gift I could get for

all the effort I took to get her operated "properly" : HER SMILE.

Healthcare in India: myth busted

The other day i read that India is one of the top destinations for medical tourists.for those not in the loop this refers to foreigners mostly from developed countries like US, Russia, Germany, Singapore, Korea, etc who do not qualify for healthcare insurance in their home countries who come to India for cheap medical care so that they can get similar or better care for less than one tenth of the price in their home country.When i read this article i couldn't help but wonder whether we should really be gloating over treating foreigners for cheap while millions die in our country due to dire need for basic healthcare.We in India apparently follow a socialistic policy in healthcare. Is it really so?
I recently read an article by Dr. Devi Shetty,a famous cardiothoracic surgeon and leading philanthropist in the field of healthcare.He said only 8% of the people needing cardiac surgery actually get operated and in a country like India we have a huge backlog.In his own words this is ridiculous even for a developing country like India.He has bought down costs of heart surgery to less than Rs. 1lakh and he’s desperately trying to get it to less than Rs. 40k.He’s doing a commendable job and needs every bit of adulation and support he can get.But really where is the Government in all this? its conspicuous by its absence!
I work as a resident in the premier Govt. Eye Institute in West Bengal which incidentally is the top govt  eye inst in the whole of eastern India. we have top of the line instruments, microscopes, lasers, machines, diagnostic aids and first class infrastructure.we undertake all kinds of surgeries done in any of the top institutes of the country.This should in effect should help the masses.But unfortunately not everything is free.True cataract surgery covered by the national program for control of blindness in India is free but nothing much else is totally free of cost for the patient.the patient still has to buy consumables for surgery such as silicone oil or perfluro-gas(Retinal Detachment surgery),silicone prosthesis,sutures and many other consumables.A typical RD surgery costs the patient around Rs. 12,000 in our institute(only consumables).In other diseases for proper diagnosis CT scans,MRI,histopathology,expensive blood reports,immunohistochemistry,etc. needs to be done for which the patient has to shell out from his/her own pocket.All this and not to mention other daily expenditures in eye drops,costly antibiotics,pain killers and sometimes hospital fees.Drugs supplied by the govt. form a woefully short list or for the most part ineffective probably due to adulteration and poor quality control.So many expenditures in a Govt Hospital which is a premier institute at that in a supposedly socialised medical healthcare.This much expenditure to a man/woman who probably earns less than Rs. 100 a day.does it sound right? can our conscience make peace with this fact? if this is the state in a premier institute what is the state of peripheral hospitals.I’m not blaming the people who run our hospital for all this.they are doing a great job to the masses with the limited resources at their disposal.the costs that are being borne by the patients is due to the helplessness of these doctors and due to their endeavour to provide world class care to patients with limited expenditure to the society. In this scenario doctors are stressed to provide healthcare and the public blames them for any incident that happens. This is the reason why doctors in govt sectors are getting frustrated with the system. its not them but our healthcare policy that is to blame.It is flawed left right and centre!
I’m speaking in the midst of one hospital and i’m talking of ground realities in one govt hospital as i’m a part of one.But this is the story of nearly every govt hospital in India.it is just that the categories of expenditure changes.Our society will be judged by how we treat the weakest(read poorest) among us.And our country falls terribly short of an ideal.
As i have mentioned previously in my blogs,Indian govt. spends less than 1percent of our GDP on healthcare.Even countries like Bangladesh and Sri Lanka spend 16 and 32 pc respectively.UK spends 7pc and yet provides Universal free healthcare to every citizen and immigrant.In India 80pc of the health care burden is borne by the pvt. sector.We are quick to downgrade the insurance based healthcare of the USA but in India we neither have an Insurance based healthcare of USA nor a Socialised Healthcare like UK,France,Sweden,Denmark,etc. the common retort by the govt is India is a poor country and we do not collect sufficient taxes to sponsor universal healthcare in India.But this is a poor argument because though only 3 pc of the population pays income tax,we all pay tax in every other way.sales tax,wealth tax,property tax,road tax,service tax,luxury tax,custom tax,education cess,advertisement tax,service tax,value added tax,….phew just to name a few!!!! Only birth tax and death tax is left to be enforced.where does all this money go? We have a horrendous education system,pitiable healthcare and a treacherous bureaucracy and yet we have any non-descript politician worth his salt(not necessarily elected) being ridden across the country in a fleet of 10 cars or helicopters or jets! govt officials,bureaucrats and govt aides lead a life of extreme luxury.our politicians and bureaucrats must be among the richest politicians and bureaucrats in the world(and we are a poor country mind you!!!)No other country in the world has more black money in Swiss Banks than India.So who do you think owns all that money? the above people and also some huge businessmen. So do I still hear somebody call India a poor country. We now know who are the beneficiaries of these many taxes.
Solutions are quite often very simple but simple things aren’t done without a political will in this country.The masses don't demand healthcare because they have nothing to eat so why will anybody talk about health? Healthcare needs to be removed as a state subject and be transferred to being a union subject.Doctors and healthcare professionals need to be paid more as professionalism demands money.you can’t attract the best talent in any industry with pitiful pay packets.same should hold true for healthcare.Govt budgetary allocation to healthcare should increase to 5pc of GDP for a start and should eventually increase to at least 8pc.another 10pc to our education system because to sustain a healthcare this massive we need an educated population.All these budgetary allocation should come from defence cuts.We don't need bombs and missiles.we need medicines and medical care.there needs to be a stringent quality control body for healthcare delivery and of course for the quality of drugs and consumables being supplied.In effect we need a complete overhaul of our healthcare and education policy.Do these sound difficult. hell yes!!! because attitudes need to be changed,awareness needs to be increased and most of all corruption should be minimised.All this is easier said than done but it still is simple stuff no?
I sometimes feel really bad when patients suffer because they either can’t afford treatments or we are restrained from giving them the best treatment due to the many impediments i have mentioned above.There is a certain joy in treating patients and you need to have empathy to understand their varied problems.Its a hell of a tough job but there is nothing else in this world which gives the same high as that got by alleviating suffering of people.It is for this incredible satisfaction that most doctors work even in trying conditions,amongst apathetic govts.,and high personal sacrifices(both monetary and social).So if we doctors can treat our patients without worrying about whether the patient can afford the treatment we can at least bring back nobility to our profession.its not only the rich who deserve to get sick and be cured.even the poor have every right to lead a healthy life.So the next time you fall sick and get treated think about the millions who are not as lucky as you and be grateful for the same.Also try in your own way to do something about it.sometimes a simple thing such as a change in attitude will do.

17th April,2011                                  Raghuraj Hegde

The anatomy of hate and the geography of patriotism

The world cup is over and India have lifted the world cup in grand style after 28 long yrs.I am happy and proud as every other Indian ought to be.But I'm not going to talk about Saturday's game or the many  wonderful moments this world cup has given me.I’m going to talk about the impact sports has on people.

Sport is essential in life.It provides joy to so many people playing it and the so many more watching it.Some say sports does not affect the common man.I disagree.The same thing can be said about music,movies,dance,art,fashion,etc but we all know how important these are to our lives.So sport has its value and its high up there.I’ve been a true sports fan for so long.It started with cricket,moved to football,tennis and F1.I've enjoyed every bit of watching these sports and also the suffered the heartbreaks that comes with it.So i know first hand how sport fans think.Joy,grief,faith and un-reasonability all in equal measure

The days before the India-pakistan semi-final the tension was building intensely.There was so much hype surrounding the clash that most people just wanted that match to get over as soon as possible to spare them the anxiety.There was a lot of pak-bashing going on.I assume there equal India-bashing on the other side.Even I joined in all the excitement and maybe indulged in some myself.But then as the clash was nearing the things being said in public discussions and forums,over news channels,SMSes,newspapers,e-mail forwards and social networking sites got ugly and then it was plain indecent at times.there was so many hate filled messages and statements going around everywhere.Much more than before the Australia quarter-final clash or when India lost to South Africa.Some insecure fans threatening the Indian team against losing to Pakistan.Things being said about pakis mothers and sisters.It was somehow ok to the fans with India losing to Australia or South Africa but it was a strict no when it came to Pakistan.I asked myself at that point…why so?

True that since the partition there’s always been tension between our countries And Pakistan being a very poorly governed country this tension had just increased over the years.True our borders are being challenged everyday as i speak.They might be infringing on our internationally recognised land.Pakistan is also the safe haven to so many terrorists  who repeatedly attack India and also other countries. causing so many lives to be lost.We’ve had two wars with them and there so many wounds yet to heal.But my point is what has the Pakistan cricketers,cricket officials,common people of Pakistan have to do with what is essentially a political problem.More over what has sports got to do with it? Maybe the partition was not the best thing to happen to us but it happened more than 63yrs back and we cant with all our powers change that.What gives us the right to abuse anybody just on the basis of him belonging to a country we think we hate.Why do we forget that these are people who suffer the very same problems that we face or maybe at times even more than us.

Some months ago,Sania Mirza decided to tie the knot with Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik.There was a huge furore in the country which was reflected by “Breaking news” features everyday in the news channels.Sania Mirza could have got married to anybody in the world(or any foreigner for good effect) but the fact that she was marrying a Pakistani was not acceptable to our people.I found it bemusing at best.We Indians think just because Sania plays tennis for our country(and of course we are proud of her for that) we have a say in her personal life.Well that’s not my point here actually.my point here is her husband being a “Pakistani” was offensive to Indians.Again why so much hatred for individuals? The country was quick to react with threats to Sania’s life,controversy regarding some non valid earlier marriage of Shoaib and lastly the fatwas issued by the muslim community of India.Sania was labelled a traitor for marrying a Pakistani.I’m not in anyway suggesting the discord is just from our side.Shoaib Malik who was captain of the Pakistani team when India beat them to win the Inaugural T20 world cup in 2007,his first words at the presentation ceremony was ”I want to thank all the Muslims of the world who supported the Pakistani team”.He apparently forgot that the man of the match in the final was Irfan Pathan and the Indian team had two other Muslims, Zaheer and Yusuf.I guess a less educated Shoaib Malik did not have enough maturity to realize such a blaring fact and he uttered publicly what he thought his country believed.This in part reflects the queasy feeling that Muslims in our country get when such things occur.They are somehow anxious not to be be seen as supporting Pakistan in anyway lest they be seen as traitors.But really it can’t be the case.There are more Muslims in India than in Pakistan and also we have the second largest Muslim population in any single country behind Indonesia.So Muslims in India are as Indian as anyone else.Nobody has the right to question their allegiance to our secular country.This to India’s credit reflects our amazing culture of tolerance.I’m not an idealist.I too at some level share some of the prejudices against Pakistan hence I understand the hatred that seems to be all around us.But in my few years on this planet I have realized that so much hatred is bad and brings negative energy to our country.It stunts our progress.We invest 20-30pc of our budget on defence,weapons and to maintain a million strong army all for the fear of our neighbours, Pakistan.If we shared cordial relations with them we wouldn’t have to invest so much on the military.we could use that extra resources towards eradicating poverty by good education to our countrymen.Even Pakistan can stop investing in weapons and do good to their country.Its not enough to be anti-war its more important to be pro-peace.We need an atmosphere of peace to stop this kind of hate taking root in our hearts.We shouldn’t let these politicians sell us false stories to create hatred to help their own political agendas.Let us all live in peace.

India finally won the world cup after 28 yrs.It was an extremely emotional moment for me to witness India winning the world cup in my lifetime(i was not even born when they won in ‘83).The scenes around my house was overwhelming and the joy one witnessed in everybody’s faces was incredible.For one night the whole of India forgot all their problems,biases,prejudices and celebrated whole-heartedly.Those scenes will stay with me for the rest of my life and i shall always cherish it.It was truly a kodak moment in history for all Indians.It is also imperative that one highlights the unforgiving Indian fan in the midst of all these celebrating and euphoric days.We Indian cricket fans make gods out of cricketers when they win but our whole world comes down when India loses.These very cricketing heroes become India’s most hated people.They are publicly abused and vehemently castigated.I understand that Indians are emotional people and maybe we have some right to criticize the players but only up to a point.The rule of sport is that one team wins and another team loses.Either one individual wins or loses like we experience in our daily lives.So we should treat sport as part of our life and not our whole life’s endeavour so our reactions to wins and loses must be appropriate.

Its incredible that Indian cricket team has so much support across the country.Nothing seems to unite the country more than a cricket match win(or maybe in times of war).But our patriotism is restricted to these few moments.Our patriotism is not evoked when we vote for all the wrong men who after getting elected are involved in a number of scams eating up crores of the tax payer’s money in the bargain.It never pains us that not a single politician in India is convicted of corruption.Even very few bureaucrats are punished for corruption.Our patriotism is never evoked when we bribe the traffic policeman to let us go or buttering a government official’s hands to make our papers pass through the red tape.But our blood starts to boil when India loses a cricket match against Pakistan or when an Indian marries a Pakistani or some irresponsible Pakistani minister makes an inflammatory statement against India.In the true perspective of things don’t we think our reactions are unbalanced and mostly misplaced.I hope you see how blind this hate for Pakistan has made us.For all we know,for all the unbridled and unreasonable hatred we have for these unknown Pakistanis if you go to their homes they might turn out to be as hospitable and warm as we are to our guests.Think about it!

 

4th April,2011                               Raghuraj S. Hegde

The Year that went by….

Of course every new year’s eve presents a moment to reflect the life you are living and how you want to live it from there.This new year’s eve has been a different experience. Maybe it is because I've had an ordinary 2010. But of course I'm not here to bore you to death with the travails of my boring year gone by. One important lesson I've learnt is that a lot of us spend a lot of time complaining about everything which prevents us from enjoying what we are blessed with.I for one remember 2010 as the year i got pissed off with a lot of people.I got lost in an unending routine in work that i got fed up of the drab life i was living.I somehow let small situations,petty people and quirks of fate upset my incredible balance in life i had earlier enjoyed.2009 was the best year of my life largely because i concentrated on all the positive aspects of my life and all good things came to me.New friends,new life and whole new view to life.But 2010 was a total anti-thesis to 2009.Many misunderstandings,a few fights,uncomfortable realisations, changing equations with people and life’s not that hunky-dory anymore.Of course people would say the good comes with the bad and 2010 can’t be all that awful.It certainly wasn’t.it was just that i spent so much of my year getting pissed with things i couldn’t see all the good things that was happening to me throughout the year.Probably looking back after a few years i might have had one of my most productive years.But that's the way our priorities line up when we spend a lot of our time being angry. My point is if we dwell on negativity our life will be an unsatisfactory one.we need to remove all the unpleasant experiences from our lives and take only positive constructive lessons from it.So now i have to take the constructive lesson out of this experience too.Of course i hope 2011 will bring me better joy since i resolve to remedy this malady.The real compass of our lives is our own desires.They show us the direction our life should take.So you are happy only if you choose to be happy!!!

That apart,though 2010 has been a largely uneventful year for me.The earth hasn’t stopped revolving nor have people stopped living their life and rocking their worlds and ours.My foremost remembrance of 2010 is the year that Sachin Tendulkar,a man born to just play cricket resurrected himself to the top echelons of the game.Of course after 14,000+ runs and 17,000+ runs in test and ODI’s respectively he was already a legend before this year.But his double against SA in an ODI and his 50 centuries mark that he achieved stamped his class as the best batsman the game has even seen.And to top it all he had the best year of his professional career in 2010.i have always admired people like Sachin and Dravid the way they play the game for the love of it and nothing else in this world concerns them except their game.i guess that’s why I'm their fan rather than all the records they have broken.They are true gentlemen in every sense of the word.

India has reached the No. 1 in the test cricket rankings.I’m absolutely proud of that fact but something doesn’t seem right.I’m not saying they don’t deserve the ranking but to win the coming world cup with a bowling attack like the present one seems difficult for me.But i guess this is our best fast bowling attack that has ever been and Zaheer is the man to look out to.Hope the other fast bowlers and Bhajji give him enough support.Moreover I have incredible faith in the little man Tendulkar that he’ll give us the world cup before he retires.

Spain won its first world cup and anyone seeing them play had no doubt who would win.They looked the best team and played like one till the end barring the forgettable first game of the tournament.I was supporting Argentina too since my favourite player Messi was in in it but was disappointed to see him playing alone with 6 defenders attacking him and yet he managed to show his magic.He certainly deserved better teammates.Maradona erred terribly by not taking Riquelmé and Cambiasso.By 2014 i hope Messi will lead a much better team.

One of my favourite sports which i have never played but always watched with wonder…Tennis.People like Agassi,Ivanisevic,Pat Rafter and now Roger Federer have kept me amazed by this game.Of course Kournikova ,Sharpova ,Ivanovic and the likes have kept it interesting :-)…one of my biggest sporting heroes has been Roger Federer.I have always found inspiration in the grace of his game! he’s had an ordinary year in 2010 and he now seems a shadow of the greatness that enveloped him earlier.but he’s a man who could find sanity in the kind of incredible success he enjoyed.I never saw,heard or read about him misbehaving,showing his airs or any of the now common among sports celebs-sex scandals right through his career.Never before did success sit so well on a human being.It is for  this that i shall remain his greatest fan! But his game is immortal because even his shadow is reaching semi-finals and finals of every tournament he plays.That's testimony to his amazing game.And I’ve got this inner belief…kind of a hunch that he’s not done yet and he’ll come back to win more grand slams before saying goodbye!

Closer home our CWG games was saved from disgrace by some last minute adjustment for which we Indians are famed for.we actually pulled it off!!! And we also won more than a 100 medals.Kudos to all the athletes who made our country proud.They continued the good show in the Asian games(59 medals,14gold)) but of course they were paled in comparison to China(199 Gold) and Korea who dominated the field.A country of a billion people is sure to have better talent than that.Again I'm not belittling the efforts and achievements of our sporting heroes but the medal tally shows our country’s collective apathy towards sports.These sportsmen need better facilities,funds and sponsors to fuel our sporting growth.I hope that the CWG and Asian games foretell a better future for all budding sportspersons.

Politically,the central government run by the UPA which is lead by the Congress probably had their worst year in their history…scams after scams.tainted politician after tainted politician.They need to show something concrete to hold their own from here on in.The huge 20,000 crore CWG mess was messy enough and coming in its heels the 1.76lakh crore 2G spectrum sale scam resulting in the resigning of A Raja.Coalition politics,ulterior motives or vested interests? Can somebody please explain because sometime in the future if these people don't answer our questions we shall not vote for them.We may even vote for the saffron that we don't particularly like but we certainly don’t like liars and people who take our votes for granted.

These are the few highlights of the year gone by that i felt i had something to say.There may be many more important events that begs a lot of importance but i certainly have nothing substantial to contribute to it.So here i am again bringing my long story to an end!

 

3rd January,2010                                   Raghuraj S. Hegde

The tale of two cities….

The difference between Bangalore 

and Kolkata

A few days back i met a person who is Bengali by origin but had gone to Bangalore to work for a software company ten years back and now is settled in Bangalore for good.Almost the whole of his immediate family lives in Kolkata but he does not want to return back.He says he’s fallen in love with Bangalore so much that he can’t leave it now.On the other side of the spectrum,I regularly come across people from other states who are forced to stay in Kolkata due to work and are looking forward to going back to their home state as soon as their situation permits.(there are exceptions like people from UP,bihar,jharkhand and north-east but that’s understandable for obvious reasons).These people  i meet absolutely loath staying in Kolkata and have a thousand complaints about the city and state…food,politics,red tape,infrastructure,locals,etc..I too in some way belong to that group.This contrasting experience prompted me to write this piece.Why are there such extreme feelings regarding the two cities? I’ll try to explore in the next few paragraphs what contributes to this phenomenon….

I’ll start closer to home with Bangalore.I spent all of my childhood and did all my schooling in Bangalore up until i joined medical college.I have wonderful memories of my childhood in Bangalore as childhood memories ought to be.I went to one of the best schools,got a wonderful set of teachers to teach me and had an incredible city to enjoy my school days.For me Bangalore was the best place on earth for the simple reason that i didn’t know any other place.It all changed once i went to Mysore to pursue my M.B.B.S.;I got the opportunity to observe Bangalore from a different perspective since so many of my classmates were from different parts of the state and country and belonging to different backgrounds.I observed that people from outside Bangalore disliked Bangaloreans generally.The reasons were many.Bangaloreans tended to be the spotlight of the class and leadership roles were taken by them naturally.They generally tended to have an air of superiority about them.Add to the fact that we Bangaloreans have an affinity for speaking good English also used to get their goat.This was inevitable as we came from places of better facilities and greater exposure to the outside world.Initially i was shocked by the hostility of the others in my class but gradually they saw the foolishness of their grouse and we eventually mixed well.But my point is Bangalore has separated from the state of Karnataka in pure cultural terms though not physically or politically.

I was one of the people who celebrated with the rest when Bangalore was fast becoming the IT capital of India.But i didn’t realize the effect it would have on my  beloved Bangalore i left behind in 2002 when i went to Mysore for further studies.Of course i used to regularly go home every few weeks.But i saw first hand how Bangalore went from good to horrible within the span of 6yrs i was in Mysore.It came to a point when i failed to recognise the city i was brought up in.The whole city had changed.Some said it did for the good since so much infrastructure came into being.The congress govt earlier had invested in a lot of flyovers,roads and tax reforms for IT companies to open shop in Bangalore.They said it was all good.People in Bangalore had more money in their hands,better standard of living and more happy as a result.Huge shopping malls cropped up in every street,exotic hotels started popping up,all the latest cars started zooming around the city,in short everything was looking so hunky dory at that time.Even i believed the half truths at the time.But in time i realised that all that infrastructure could not keep pace with how fast the city was growing.Roads got worse,public transport was a nightmare,the land prices and cost of living shot up and inevitably Bangalore could not promise a great life to everybody.The unstable governments of Devegowda, Kumarswamy and Yedurappa only added to people’s woes.There was a nearly non-existent  public transport to contend with;people had money so every house had two cars and two motorcycles.That in turn resulted in more traffic problems and the vicious cycle continued.Sometimes when i got to Bangalore it was difficult to believe i was still in Karnataka as almost every corner of India was represented in the city.This cosmopolitan nature of the city is not something i hold against Bangalore.I’m proud that we have always let people from other places come to our city and make it their home without even a hint of resentment.That i believe is a credit to the open mindedness of the city’s people.But what I'm hurt to note is that we haven’t preserved our culture.We kannadigas don’t seem to have pride in our language and traditions.Increasingly even local people are speaking to each other in english and hindi rather than kannada.People in Bangalore somehow feel ashamed to speak publicly in kannada.There are people living in Bangalore for nearly 25 yrs and still don’t know to speak in kannada.Our food,lifestyles,weddings and festivals are conforming to north indian sensibilities.That for me is a failure on our part to preserve the most precious asset of the city:it’s culture.Recently when i saw MLAs in Karnataka legislature creating ruckus inside the Vidhan Sabha with one MLA even tearing away his shirt to expose his bare chest I wondered how civilised we can call ourselves.We are slowly resembling the legislatures of Bihar and UP.This was just waiting to happen.With so much money coming into Bangalore we have let go of decency and courtesy,the bulwark of Kannadiga tradition.The average auto-driver in Bangalore speaks so rudely to the passengers that he would have you believe that he’s doing you a favour and auto-rickshaws are costliest form of transport in Bangalore beating even the airlines.Today your regular Bangalorean  when he takes his family out he sometimes can’t afford both the cinema tickets and the restaurant food on the same day.Forget everybody else even i don’t have the courage to go out when i am in Bangalore.This is the Bangalore that the Bengali I spoke about earlier has fallen in love with for it’s almost indistinguishable from New York,London,Paris or Tokyo other than the people living there.I don’t so much like this version of Bangalore.

Now coming to Kolkata where I’ve been staying since a little more than a year.When I first came to Kolkata last year to pursue my MS i was surprised and i admit even i was a little annoyed when people here refused to speak to me in Hindi or English despite them knowing the language.They expected me to learn their language to converse with them.This included my colleagues,seniors and faculty of my institute.I was forced to learn the language which I did in good time due to interaction with my patients and picking cues from the Bengali banter that went on in my hospital.I was not very impressed due to their refusal to consider my language handicap but i slowly realized that all this stemmed from a deep love for their language and culture which isn’t present in Bangalore.I even started admiring their passion towards their language,state and city.

If there is any advertisement needed for Kolkata culture you needn’t look beyond the Durga Pujo.This annual festival is celebrated with such fervour that it’s highly infective.Here I digress a little bit to describe the pujo.During the 5 day festival the people from the whole of Kolkata and surrounding areas are on the streets.They go around watching the endless stream of pandals on offer.There are usually nearly 2500 official pandals or 10,000 if you count even the smaller ones.Here you are exposed to amazing human creativity.The kind of effort that goes into designing each and every pandal is impossible to believe.You find it hard to believe sometimes that all these structures are temporary structures which will be present only for a week.It’s hard to express it in words what i experienced during the durga pujo for the last two years.The whole city is lit up and converted into one huge art gallery.You can call it the world’s largest art gallery as a matter of fact.I absolutely loved the experience.i tried to capture the festive spirit in camera but failed to give complete justice to my endeavour.

Coming back to the original theme of my treatise i want to say that Kannadigas have something to learn from Bengalis.They say Kolkata is a dying city but they have managed to preserve their identity and are not ashamed to display it.Whether it comes to language,traditions,food,weddings or festivals they have never tried to modify their culture the way we kannadigas have done.True the politics in Kolkata sucks.They have two  political parties who spend all their time putting the blame on each other while they have let the city and state rot in poverty, low infrastructure,union problems and counterproductive socialist policies.Communism has long lost it charm and is outdated.This philosophy has impeded industrial growth in the state.They have several bandhs throughout the year for frivolous reasons.Their food is typically without variety and don’t offer consolations to people having other tastes.The main city still is replete with buildings belonging to the 19th century and pre-independence era.Roads and traffic are probably as bad in Bangalore.Their saving grace is the underground metro which though the best  form of transport in the city is bursting in the seams these days.Add to that the barmy weather,red tape and old practices ,you have a lot to complain about.In more ways than one Bangalore is a much better place to live in for a person earning a decent salary.But my point is Kolkata is distinct by it’s uniqueness and they celebrate it with impunity.People here are less ambitious than their counterparts in the south of India but people here are happy living their lives in sync with Bengali ethos.This is something that you can’t hold against Kolkata.It’s truly a city of joy for them and what more could one want than that!

So in conclusion i would like to say that though Bangalore has been such a friendly place for all and sundry it fails to retain the regional flavour that Kolkata still permeates of.Bangalore is thus paying the price for it’s cosmopolitan nature which may not be bad in real terms but I’ve lost a Bangalore I really loved.

 

23rd October,2010                           Raghuraj S. Hegde

Mysore, the foodie paradise

It’s been more than 2 yrs since I've left Mysore but I still feel like going back again and again.Apart from the beautiful city it is, it’s also home to quite a few unique food experiences which is possibly not available anywhere else in this world.I miss it a lot when I'm in Kolkata where I'm deprived of such gastronomic pleasures.Here’s a list of such uniqueness of food in Mysore.Feel free to add to this list if you feel so.

1. Masala and set dosas from Mylari.
2. Chicken Biryani from RRR and mysore sport’s club
3. Vegetarian meals again from RRR
4. Kachoris from Danavantari road.
5. Meals at Tegu mess in K D road
6. Alu and Gobi parathas from Bhattacharjee’s
7. Ghee rice from Vaibhav
8. Chicken stronganoff in red wine sauce in Planet X
9. Midnight Chai in R M C circle
10. Vanilla ice cream and chocobar in front of Joy Ice cream factory…yeah you might say Joy icecreams are available in other places too but vanilla ice cream never tasted that good any where else.
11. Fruit Juices and Egg-ma-puffs at Ami’s Bakery in Bannimantap
12. Cheese bionic burgers from Downtown, K.D. Road
13. Gobi manchurian from Gokul chats,Gokulam
14. Sizzlers at Jewel Rock
15. Chinese food at Shanghai Chinese Restaurant

its not an exhaustive list.just whatever came right on top of my head…I'm sure there are many more incredible things i failed to mention about food in Mysore

Patriotism,poverty and independence

The day before yesterday I was watching a movie called Peepli [live].It’s a dark comedy/satire on the farmer suicides,media circus and politicians in a backdrop of rural India.I couldn’t help think to myself that now we consider the poverty in our  country as a selling point to the west.We showcase to the west how poor our country is and how we need their money.Today we celebrate 63 yrs of independence and ironically we have more people living below the poverty line than 63yrs ago.Yes there has been an almost 4 fold increase in population from the 300 million then which would account for that increased no.But my point is what does independence mean to those 300-400 million who are below poverty line and have a  pathetic life to look forward to everyday.I doubt they even know that  we have gained independence because that knowledge does not feed them or their children.Why would these people even be patriotic towards a state which has shown just pure indifference for so many years.

At the other end of the spectrum we have the political class, bureaucrats, government officials and huge businessmen.These are people with unlimited incomes at their disposal and yet chose not invest it for their country at some level.The Commonwealth games fiasco does not come as a surprise to anybody.That for me is the worrying factor.The fact that we take corruption so granted that we are hardly overwhelmed  even when such a magnitude of money is being swindled from the the taxpayer’s (read our) pocket goes to show how deep rooted corruption is in our country.The costliest Commonwealth games ever which was initially pegged at Rs.655 crores in 2003 which considering inflation and further works should have cost a little more than Rs.2,500 crores on the upside has ended up at more than Rs.11,000 crores and yet we get to host the worst Commonwealth games ever.Come October and we will all hang our heads in shame not only at our dismal medal tally but also for the substandard training and event facilities.Really when you consider that Rs.11k crores have been wasted out of which 60-70pc have gone into the pockets of private parties ,with nearly 300 million Indians living below poverty line and probably more than 600million who are really poor could we afford such an extravagance and in hindsight where has it got us today other than being the laughing stock for the whole world.Couldn't we have used that much money for improving our country instead of showcasing us as a corrupt poverty stricken country that this commonwealth games is going to do.It is strange that we don't have the excitement that South Africa had during the football world cup or what China had during the Beijing Olympics.We really do not feel any sense of association with the Commonwealth games being hosted in our country.And the people responsible are our political and bureaucratic class.I sometimes wonder how they sleep at night without all these things affecting their mindsets.

Our sports culture is so awful that we have the lowest Olympic medal to population ratio.When a country like Uruguay with a total population of 3.4 million people can produce a football team which can reach the semi-final of the world cup while we don’t even have a half decent team which can even be among the top 100 there should be something worrisome.Our Hockey team did not even qualify for the 2008 Olympics and are in doubt for qualifying for the 2012 event and Hockey is supposed to be our national sport.Cricket is the only place where we have some respectability but who knows about cricket other than the commonwealth nations? who is responsible? the Athletes? these people who have staked their entire careers on an unsympathetic country who don’t even value their sporting heroes or the didactic sport officials running the sport because they have interest in it though no qualifications for it and intend to make profits from these?

We spend 10-12% of our annual budget for defence purposes to buy arms and bombs which may never be used.Yet the government spends less than 1 percent of the annual budget on health care.We spend less than 5 percent of our GDP on health and 80pc comes from the private sector.This figure is the lowest in southeast Asia.Even a country like Sri Lanka spends 16pc and Malaysia 32pc.Who is to explain such huge deficits?

Why is the Maoist problem reaching a head these days?The answer lies in the unequal distribution of wealth.When a poor farmer has nothing to eat,to survive and save his family he would be extremely willing to take up arms against his own country because for a hungry farmer patriotism has little value.When we see that more people are poor than rich we should be thankful that the Maoists are not ruling us already.This is how complex the naxalite problem is.

This brings me back to the movie i mentioned earlier where the protagonist Natha is a helpless man in this system.No matter how many programmes or the incredible amount of money being spent for the the poor in the country not a single rupee reaches the poor man like Natha.when the people with the highest power in the country(read politicians and bureaucrats) chose not to do anything what else is there to say.These are the issues that needs to be addressed first before I would be proud to call myself an Indian.Till then Independence day means little to most of the country and this day serves only to let the elite among us to wax eloquent about our achievements over so many years and discover some annual fake patriotism.Yes its true we have achieved a lot but if we willed we could have achieved a lot more.

 

15th August,2010                   Raghuraj S. Hegde

The pound of flesh

The Israelis drop bombs on Palestinians and the Palestinians return the favour.Americans did the same after 9/11 and did a lot more after that.Everywhere that feeling of revenge is utmost on everybody’s minds.This poem is inspired by that very emotion in war…

Retribution

You kill my man today.

I’ll kill yours tomorrow.

In these wars of retaliation and retribution.

How long before we lose count whose turn it is?

I have killed many in my lifetime,

So i know there is more than one kind of death.

The more I kill the more dead I feel.

Yet I obtain no sense of closure.

The enemy’s death is a momentary escape.

It couldn’t make a better person out of me.

But how strange that i didn’t realise the futility of it all.

Till I pulled the trigger!!

My enemy is somebody’s son, husband or father.

How so similar to me.

It just remains a matter of reference.

As to who is on the wrong side of humanity.

I sin and sin again and every time

I do it knowing that I have and am.

I remember so much that I have done.

Yet I have learned nothing at all.

The long gone memories keep notice.

All the bloody wars that we seldom forget.

The skies that are a darker colour of blood.

Our lifetimes fall short to wash them away.

24th July,2010        

                              Raghuraj S. Hegde

Laughter cures all ills

Laughter is one of the best expressions of human spontaneity and laughing indeed makes the world more liveable.We should learn to laugh at our life,at ourselves and even laugh for no reason at all…..

   Laughter

Laughter brings those joys in you,
Also seeks the mirth in others.
The day goes a better way,
When it begins or ends in laughter.

Never let those smiles forget,
That laughter's just lurking close.
Never let your faces dry,
For laughter needs a fertile place.

Laughter lost a day before.
Laughter lost a day beyond.
For laughter has but a moment's value,
You have it now or don't at all.

11th July, 2010              Raghuraj S. Hegde

The Times of Kolkata

There are lot of things on my mind these days but I don’t find the time to get it down in words.Blame the busy schedules of my resident duties I could say but maybe not.Whatever the reasons this holiday weekend offers me a little time to reflect on the happenings of my little world and the somewhat bigger world outside mine.
   Professionally I'm going great guns in my career and I couldn’t be more happy with it.My cataract surgery count crossed 50 last week.A significant number especially since I'm yet to finish my first year of my residency and I'm already operating with a good amount of skill.I’m doing small incision suture-less cataract surgery and more importantly my cases are truly turning out to be suture-less since the last 25 cases.Adding to that fact my skill has considerably improved (even though I say so myself) since I'd taken my hesitant first steps towards ophthalmic surgery.This applies not only to cataract surgery but also to other surgeries.

Technorati Tags: my 53rd cataract surgery post op

These days ophthalmology has gone beyond the bread and butter cataract surgeries.The newest and most exciting branch among them has been oculoplasty  which I’m getting more interested by the day.I’m improving my skills in eyelid surgery,lacrimal surgery,evisceration,enucleation and implant prosthesis which i feel is not getting the attention it deserves.In government set ups like the one i work in when an eye is impossible to save we often times resort to destructive surgeries to remove the eye to save the patient from a systemic infection,cancer,brain spread,to save the other eye or sometimes even to relieve the inexplicable pain that patients experience in Endophthalmitis and Panophthalmitis.But we and i also include doctors do not think of the social stigma of the patient who loses an eye.Not only does the patient see with one eye less but also faces a social stigma of being known as a one eyed man.Shouldn’t we think of cosmetically rehabilitating such a patient with an artificial eye.This is where Oculoplasty has a great role.It is a fact of course that cosmetic rehabilitation costs a great deal and there are people suffering from even worse diseases of the eyes for which more funds need to be channelled.Cosmetic rehabilitation and counselling has less cost benefit in a country like India where people are dying and suffering from TB,cholera,syphilis,oral cancer etc.It is unrealistic to demand a lions share of health funding for such a cause like cosmetic rehabilitation of a one eyed man when there are so many people who are legless and handless for whom their limbs mean a source of livelihood.People in some parts of India can’t even afford to come and get done a cataract surgery done on themselves in free eye surgery camps so its unrealistic to expect more.But we need to spare a thought for the small child who loses his/her eye at 3-4 yrs of age to a dangerous disease like Retinoblastoma or Rhabdomyosarcoma.If we do not put a good implant during removal of the eye then the child will live the rest of his life as a handicapped person.This is also one of the reasons oculoplasty continues to interest me.
On a personal note, as the Kolkata’s summer temperature is reaching unbearable 40s the food is turning out to be as intolerable as the summer heat.The winter vegetables have given way to potatoes and more potatoes.Everyday I'm getting sicker eating potatoes and won’t be worse without it.I know potatoes are cheap here but that doesn't mean that every dish should contain it.Even grass is cheap but do we eat it? But Bengalis love their potatoes and will not stop at my insistence.
It’s been nearly 6 months since I've gone home to Bangalore and i’m getting homesick.But more than homesickness there is a sense of loneliness during my residency days like I have never experienced before during my student life.I lived in Mysore for 6 years during my undergraduate days but never for one day I felt lonely in the hustle bustle of hostel life.There was always something to do,someone to talk to and hang out with.But now since I've started my residency everyday after work is spent in relaxing so that we can work properly the next day.It’s not to say that I’m over-worked but the fun element in our lives as Residents has reduced.This feeling is not restricted to myself but also my close friends have admitted to feeling thus.In our post-graduate life we have less time for ourselves,more responsibility and more worries.This in turn results in lesser effort from us to extend our friendships like we used to in our undergraduate days.The fun we used to have in hostel and the activities I used to indulge in during my hostel days have come to a standstill since the last two years.It doesn’t help that I do not have any relations in or near Kolkata and none of my close friends are nearby too.It is at this point that I value the friendships that i had in my college life.Friends who would readily stand up for you at any given situation, friends who shared common interests,tastes and recreational activities with you,friends with whom you could trust to share your most deepest fears and troubles with and I also miss all the extreme pranks and leg-pulling we used to indulge in during our hostel life.I end up the most lonely during weekends in stark contrast to my UG days when weekends meant parties,excursions and fun.There is this sense of void that I'm unable to fill.Probably I'm overreacting and actually its not that bad.It’s really a transition phase from our college life to the real world.We need to move on in our lives.In fact there is a lot of positive things in our lives now than it used to be.We are doing our post-graduate degree,earning our own bread,having economic independence and we have an exciting career ahead of us now that we have refined our calling.So it’s imperative that we should lose the nostalgia or rather a hangover of our college lives.This in effect is an education of a different kind.It will test friendships as to whether it can stand the long distance bonds.I have reason to believe that it will as i think I've been luckier than most people to have been blessed with really great friends.This transition period will also test the family as to whether they will support their boy who has become a man.Last but not the least it will test myself whether I'm ready to be the Man from the fun loving boy I used to be.
  Well there there!!! My heavy lines never desert me.I'm probably more dramatic than I care to admit myself to be.On the face of it I'm not really as unhappy as I sound in the above lines.I do enjoy the small pleasures of life but yes the small pleasures are getting smaller by the day.But again being the eternal optimist that i have become on the proper balance of things I would still say I’m more happy than sad.So maybe its just homesickness and a trip home will cure all ills.until my next blog.Aloha!

Superior education Vs Belittling Quotas

It’s all over the news these days….The women’s quota bill.There’s so much ruckus and so much infighting among parties.But i fail to see the whole point of it.The whole country is suffering from a 20% food inflation rate, 300 million people are below the poverty line and only about 60% of the population is barely literate out which only  a minority is truly educated.These are the figures the parliament should work on improving rather than the present 33% or OBC,SC/ST,Muslim quotas and the innumerable other quotas.In today’s newspaper editorial it said “Quotas perpetuate inequalities rather than alleviate it".” I couldn’t agree more.its sad that all politicians do is play vote bank politics to the hilt.Every politician and i haven't seen an exception, believes that he needs to lobby for a quota for the community that he or she represents so that come next election he or she can boast about it in the manifesto.But why don’t these politicians ever work towards a situation where the community they represent don’t require a regressive quota to make them come up the social ladder. Wouldn’t that be an excellent thing to boast about in the next election.
         The quota mentality aside,they say this bill will empower women.But again their argument falls flat.First you have to face the fact that India still is a patriarchal society so no matter which women are elected,the men behind the women are going to call the shots. Secondly to win an election in this country you more often than not need a political lineage.So the women getting elected will be daughters, daughters-in-law,nieces,etc of present politicians.so how will the political will change towards women.
It is no secret that women in our country are treated shabbily especially in rural areas.Everyday some story somewhere reeks of women mistreatment.Whether it is female infanticide,child trafficking,child marriage,prostitution,domestic violence,dowry harassment,rapes,sexual harassment or plain unequal treatment.Women need to do any given work twice as good as a man to get half the credit.But as women keep proving this isn't too tough.Even today men have trouble taking orders from a woman who is is higher up the ladder than them.Women are the beautiful half of humanity and yet we accord them so little respect.
But times are changing but painfully slowly.Education is partly doing the trick.And by education i don't mean knowing to read and write with understanding which is what essentially what literacy means and to the majority of the country this is what education means.To read or write is not enough.Education means understanding what is beautiful in life.To see that no matter which colour,race,caste,gender,religion you belong to you are not superior or inferior to anybody else.To give you the vision to create dreams and the courage to see them come true.That is essentially what education really means.But sadly if you see the state of government primary and secondary schools even  in big cities like Bangalore,Kolkata,Mumbai,etc you get the idea how far behind we are in educating the people.Children there are not even sure they’ll come back to school after summer vacation.The teachers there either don’t take classes or are woefully unqualified for the job.I have myself seen first hand what goes on in these primary schools in villages when i was working as an intern in the school health program and i was really saddened by the pathetic conditions.I was left wondering in one school that none of the 800 children studying there would end up as a doctor,engineer,writer or any higher social standing.They will all end up as uneducated,sometimes illiterate day labourers,rickshaw-pullers,cobblers,construction workers,chaiwallahs etc living hand to mouth.And the girls among them will not even be so fortunate.Heaven knows if they will even reach adolescence before being subjected to child marriages,dowry deaths,trafficking,prostitution,domestic violence and also left with no chance of independent living.This is how pathetic the condition of the country is and these are the very people for whom quotas were meant to improve the lives of. We have had quotas for nearly 60 years now and today we have even more people demanding quotas than 60 years ago.Ironic since if the quota policy was working why do we see so much inequality today.These quotas were supposed to improve the living conditions of those people I've mentioned above which clearly they have not.So if this isn’t proof that quotas aren’t working then what is? All this has done is the creamy layers(and their successive generations) in the disadvantaged groups are getting an unfair advantage over other hardworking people of the country.This creamy layer is unfairly using an advantage not meant for them when the people for whom these quotas are meant for never complete school.
Education has changed the way i look at things.I have learnt to do things only when i love to do it.i have actually loved learning chemistry,mathematics,physics and literature.I didn’t study those subjects since i had to study them to get a good job or any other reason that is usually given.I wish every kid in the country would be so fortunate to experience what i have done and also feel what it is to be taught by great teachers.Today i have the gift of independent thought and opinion which i suspect majority of Indians don't have.This is primarily why mindless following of senseless political party policies enjoy such huge successes.Since majority of the population do not have any opinions regarding national issues,these self appointed “guardians of Indian polity “ read-Indian politicians deem it their right to propagate their illogical political propaganda and quota politics.These people are not interested in educating the masses.In fact they would prefer not to educate them at all since independent opinion breeds weakening of their support bases-vote banks(uneducated faceless Indians).Hence education is the panacea to most ills that plague our country.
Empower our children(female included) with education and independence.Teach them the right way to live.Teach them to dream and give them them the courage to go in new directions.Open up new avenues of thinking.Change mindsets with education not quotas.Change lives with affirmative action and not regressive politics.Change the world with superior thought and not primitive violence.I wish such common sense prevailed among politicians.But until that happens i hope everyone of us can make a difference in our country in our own small way whenever we can and in whatever form we can impart.
                                                      Raghuraj S. Hegde

The credibility of happiness

 

So here it is.My first creative work in nearly 9 months.Overcoming my longest writer's block I have put forth my effort.Happiness is by far one of the best of human qualities.But this happiness come at a terrible cost.We just have see how badly we have destroyed the rest of the world and along with it the rest of the animal kingdom so that our species can flourish.We have to realise that on the true scale of things humans are essentially cruel and horrible creatures but human thought is a saving grace.If not for it nothing would reduce the barriers between the happiness we enjoy and the injustice we met out.Here in lies my subject for my latest poem.Also with this poem i celebrate 10 years as a poet.It was on 1st January,2000 that I wrote my first poem.This is my 63rd poem.It’s been a long time and a lot of things have changed including the themes of my poems.I think my work over the years reflects all the changes that has happened to me.I would like to think I’ve grown wiser and with it a bit less angry with the rest of the world but above all this the last 10 years has taught me humility and ignited a passion for my dreams which I consider the biggest gains.

 

The Happiness Fallacy

How happy are we?
The sinful prayered souls.
The sight of the flagrant bird,
The green of the purple trees,
Warms a heart so cruelly ours.
Oh so gruesome you Human are,
So you need a God to leash you in.
And haven't you wondered yet,
Why the speechless need no God.
Love and thought thy only solace.
Albeit the little you choose to do.
Despite all goodness and all beauty,
You still need the world to forgive you.
How blessed the blissful are.
The world a little strange,
The mind a little wary,
And an imagination that saves the day.

                                          Raghuraj S. Hegde
18th January,2010     

Love at its rough edge

Love is an all encompassing subject.While nearly everything under the sky and above it has been described associated with love and that i do not claim to have anything dramatically new and novel the fact remains that love is one human achievement that we should be proud of.French literary legend Guy Du Maupassant said “Humans would have been just as primitive as the other animals in this world if they had not discovered love." Love offsets a lot of gruesome things we humans do.It is love which makes us essentially human after all.I have often been intrigued by this subject and that thought process has resulted in a few creative products in the form of poems.These poems which i am sharing though may seem a result of personal experience they are not necessarily so since I have taken considerable poetic liberty and of course the observations of my dear friends’ relationships to base these.These poems were written quite a long time ago as the dates will reveal but this subject continues to intrigue even now…

Lovestruck

The lips seem to quiver,
The heart pounds away,
Then you knew,you were in love.
For that's the lover's way.

Your eyes will focus on one,
And the rest will become hazy.
Rules in love don't apply,you gather,
Because your world is going crazy.

The heart wants to talk,but the lips don't move.
The mind yearns to touch, but the hands decline.
And time shall move,but you don't flinch.
And eyes did meet,but you forgot the line.

Silence speaks words sometimes,
Which we are ill-endowed to hear.
For love requires not language,
But only a lover's ear.

You begin to sing and you learn to dance,
You listen to music in a delightful trance.
You discover the different ways to laugh and smile,
To please your love,you will go an extra mile.

You remember the first touch on your hand.
You remember that first kiss.
You remember the first glance towards you.
And the first time the other did you miss.

Love is a strange being indeed,
Under its shadow,you feel your life depend.
Only one shall capture your dreams,
In whose arms, you wish your life to end.

Raghuraj S. Hegde

22nd July,2004

They kissed that night

They sat.......shivering,
The dusk set in, just as the sun.
And along with the night,came the cold,
The punishing winds with a hint of rain.
So they came closer,but both willed to.
A touch became a hug and a hug something more.
His heart was beating louder,
Her's was too.....
Their future was uncertain,
And their past unknown.
But in the present,they saw life's beauty:
There is too much suffering in this world,
And our hearts too brittle to bear.
But despite all things.....
There is still romance left in this world.
Beauty defies the ignorant eye,
Music eludes the occupied mind,
But search for true beauty in this world,
And unconditional love you shall find.
These thoughts stirred them both,
In turmoil their minds pressed,
Which turned up with feelings.....
They did not intend nor will.
And then it happened,
As they became one,
No one mattered,Not even God!
Life meant more,more than mortals can know.
How blessed humans are,
For they have love that shelters all.
How beautiful that sight was,
As they kissed that night.

Raghuraj S. Hegde

4th June, 2006

Passion is a rare thing!

Today Dr. Richard Litwin, a cornea specialist from California who is a pioneer in introducing lens implant based cataract surgery in India and Nepal came to our institution to talk about cataract surgery in developing countries especially in a historical perspective.One of the things he said was "Cataract surgery is hypnotising, so much so that the more you perform surgeries the more you feel like doing more.It comes to a point when you start wondering what will happen to you if you stop operating and will your life be the same without cataract surgery" This man is nearly 75 yrs old but the passion with which he spoke about cataract surgery was amazing.Even at this age when he spoke about cataract surgery and its various economical and technological hurdles there's was a spark in his eye and a delight in his voice.I love seeing people who are passionate about their work.I confess to a bit of nostalgia today.I saw the same kind of enthusiasm in my school chemistry teacher the late Dr. David Chatterjee Ph.D .He spoke with so much energy when he gave his chemistry lectures that I learnt an important lesson in life: If you do something passionately it is bound to touch someone and in time everyone. I loved chemistry because of Dr. Chatterjee for he showed me how beautiful the world of chemistry looked to him.It is no less a tribute to him that he invariably pops up in conversation whenever i meet my classmates during school reunions.That's how much influence he had on our psyche.I've always craved for that kind of influence and i realise that people like Dr. Chatterjee and Dr. Litwick hold their power of their passion for their work to mould our collective mindsets.I wish that in time I shall have a similar influence on people's thoughts.

Raghuraj S. Hegde

The riots of division

The Ayodhya ciders burn......

When the babri masjid demolition happened I was an eight year old kid and all that it meant to me was 2 weeks vacation from school.But now 17yrs later the ashes have been blown up with the Liberhan report.I can now truly understand the graveness of that incident.It serves little purpose now of course other than the fact that it conclusively establishes history and connects them to the appropriate culprits.But what hurts me a lot is that the people responsible for it don't have one ounce of remorse.This fact is seen quite clearly by Kalyan Singh's statement after the report that he does not repent that the Babri masjid was demolished which fueled riots all over India.He even went on to say Dec 6,1992 was a day of national pride.Well I would say Mr. Kalyan Singh that you are wrong! Dec 6th, 1992 was one of the most shameful days in Indian History post independence.

Religion is the opium of the masses said Karl Marx.I guess that's what it is because religion makes people do things without reasoning sometimes like madmen high on opium.The people cease to be human and i wonder where these people lose their humanity.The ayodya riots,the mumbai riots,the post-godhra riots and innumerable lesser known riots which though smaller in scale are just as shameful have always proved the narrow mindedness of religious fundamentalism.What saddens me is all this hostility serves no other purpose than to divide people.How does it matter whether there is a ram temple in the place where he was born or not ?(of course who can conclusively prove that ram was actually born in that very place?)and at the end of such a horrible bloodbath these very people who propagated such unbridled hatred should ask themselves whether it was even worth it.Ironically those very hypocrites who were at the forefront of such communalism are projected as heroes.LK Advani was the prime ministerial candidate in the last election.Narendra Modi won by the biggest victory margin in history immediately after the post-godhra riots.hence we need to realise that somewhere in these riots there is a strong stench of public support to such gruesome acts.These politicians play the communal card since they are targeting those very people who vote.Why did Bal Thakarey and now Raj Thakarey gain supporters?It is this narrow mindedness that's preventing us from progressing.In our country before you are called INDIAN you will be known by your state,religion,caste,whether you are SC/ST/OBC/GEN merit,your wealth and many just categories.It is in this division that politicians find refuge and create differences to suit their political ambitions.

They say Mr. Atal Bihari Vajpayee was innocent in the ayodya and godhra episodes.But no he can't be.You cannot call yourself the leader unless you are responsible for all the mistakes of the people whom you lead.If he chose to continue in the same party despite all this without even punishing those guilty then he is just as reproachable as any of them.He failed as a leader(during ayodya) and he failed as a prime minister(during Godhra) so he has to be responsible.we can see how things are when movies like parzania and firaaq are banned in Gujarat and the central govt has nothing to say about it.These movies show the fear that dominated those dark days when i wished i should not have had a religion.

I'm not saying that other countries don't have such problems.Even the USA have problems like race,religion and terrorism just like us.Africa also has civil war raging through most part of it but why cant we be different from these people.In other words we need to find out why we should be proud to be called Indians when we too are behaving like uncivilised beasts.

I have never been religious since the time i can remember.I realised very early in life that the biggest service you can do is to find happiness yourself and then share that happiness everywhere else.We should do good not because some GOD will punish us if we don't but we should do it so that we find joy in being ourselves.You are not in this world to burn some temple,mosque or church.you are not in this world to damage theatres,offices or monuments in the name of upholding some irrelevant falsehood called indian values.If we should show the world that Indians have values i feel we should start with tolerance.I tend to believe there should be a Higher Power or probably even a GOD but the more I see people getting killed in the name of faith the more I feel religion is the wrong choice we made.

 

This link might shed light over the grey areas of the Ayodya battlefields:

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2012/12/10/ayodhya-the-battle-for-indias-soul-the-complete-story/

Raghuraj S Hegde

My cataract stories

My first cataract and some.....

I got to do my first cataract surgery on 09/09/09.The date sound's like a Hollywood movie but just a fortunate coincidence.It's been nearly 2 months and my cataract surgery count stands at 12.along with that count you can add 5 eviserations,8 corneal rupture repairs,half a corneal transplant operation(penetrating keratoplasty),a dacryocystectemy and nearly 30 pterygium excisions to my credit in my surgical career.Not bad for a guy in his first 5 months resident ship.In short I'm getting everything i wanted during my resident ship as far as Ophthalmology is concerned.

Coming back to cataract surgery.for a guy observing a cataract surgery in skilled hands it seems the easiest thing in the world.even i was among those unfortunate fools until on my hands was placed a scalpel to embark on my journey to the clear up the world's vision.I had until then assisted in more than 150 surgeries done by my professors and seniors.it dint seem that difficult from an observer's point of view but i realised how difficult it was once i was in the hot seat so as to say.There's so much skill involved because your field of work is so small that any small mistake can mess up the whole surgery.My professor says "there is no middle ground in cataract surgery,you either have a very good surgery or an extremely bad

one.The margin for error is so small."The eyeball weighs a mere 7gms. with a volume of 6.5ml and a circumference of 75mm.So any surgery involving such a small area requires the dexterity of professional cellist.I have had in this short time the privilege of working under some of the best cataract surgeons who are so good at what they do.I love working with such people who are driven by their work and are passionate about whatever they do.I feel my skill is increasing everyday with every surgery and i feel I'm on the right track towards the thousands of surgeries I'll be doing in the future.I'm doing my fair share of mistakes and hopefully learning from them.I have realised the professional satisfaction a surgeon gets out of his work.I'm getting all this now and more.I know now more than anything that I took the right decision when i chose Ophthalmology as my career choice.

I see how touchy people are about sight and rightfully so since it's our window to the world.A man may limp for a while,live with pain for a few days or even cough up a storm before he sees a doctor but once even a little of his vision gets affected he's so anxious to see an Ophthalmologist that he's get there as promptly as he can.that's how granted people take their vision.Imagine living without seeing and you'll realise what I'm talking about.And now in these professional times the patients are very difficult to satisfy.The area of retinal surgery suffers from this unfortunate tendency.Though cataract and corneal surgery offers much more in terms of patient and doctor satisfaction still patients have become more demanding as technology and surgical skill is improving by the day and even as I speak.Now people aged in their 60s and 70s expect to see and read clearly without having to use their glasses after their cataract surgeries and I'm happy to see that surgeons are rising to the occasion to provide exactly that.Of course everything comes at a price but then cost and professionalism go hand in hand.Occuloplasty is another new field where professional and patient satisfaction is quite good.I'm getting more interested in Occuloplasty with every passing day.

I'm saddened to see the state of corneal transplantation in India.The hospital I work is one of the foremost institutes for corneal transplantation in eastern India and yet I see so many people waiting for months and years on end for an elusive cornea.The unfortunate fact is there's such a serious shortage of donor corneas that something needs to be done to find an alternative to cadaver cornea donation.Maybe a synthetic physiological cornea or cornea production via stem cells should be a thing of reality soon.The reason behind such dismal rate of corneal donation are many but prime among them is superstition that if the eyes are removed on death the person will be born blind in the next birth and due to emotional reasons of family members.They are much better off burning the dead bodies along with their precious corneas rather than have them donated to someone in desperate need.And people will be surprised to know that its not necessarily the uneducated village folk that make up the above large group of people but some of the highly educated families including some doctors that are included in them.

As to my life in Kolkata until now I must admit that I have adjusted quite well to a completely new city.Though food continues to be a problem I have tried to offset it with some good sweets and a safe choice of items I have for breakfast,lunch and dinner.It helps of course that I'm a non-vegetarian for it would be hell for a vegetarian to live in Kolkata especially if he doesn't have family with him..The durga puja during the end of September was something I'll always cherish.I had never previously seen something quite like it.nearly everybody living in Kolkata and all around it and far off from Kolkata

was on the streets celebrating and the whole of Kolkata was looking like one huge art museum.The pandals in various places were a sight to watch and a few of them I couldn't even believe that they are temporary structures.You have to give it to the Bengalis that they have such an enormous amount of talent on display and its no secret that they have a flair for art and are absolute connoisseurs of it.I have resolved that I'll never miss another durga puja as long as I'm in Kolkata.I took some splendid photographs of the the whole event but even those photos didn't do justice to the grandeur of the event.Everybody during that festive season was in a festive mood and even i had a ball of a time during those days.

I guess I'm having the best period of my life right now.I couldn't have asked for more than this even about a year ago when i was studying and was quite desperate to get a postgraduate seat.I'm glad that everything worked out so well that I couldn't have planned it out so well if I had the chance to do so.I'm happy most of the time more so since I'm earning a decent monthly stipend so I can be financially independent.It's a good feeling really to spend your own money and I have realised that you tend to be more careful about spending your own money.My first acquisition with my own money was a digital camera which i had been dreaming to buy since the last 3 yrs.I bought the Sony cybershot DSC-H20.It cost me a whopping 17 grand but well worth it when I see the photographs.

so until i have something new to tell the world.ciao.

Raghuraj Hegde

A rather long story

My first update of my post-graduate life....

                                                                I landed in Kolkata on 16th of June,2009 to start my course in MS Ophthalmology in Regional Institute of Ophthamology(RIO),Kolkata.I landed a few days earlier than the scheduled start of the academic session to acclimatise myself to kolkata and also to find myself a rented apartment before my course starts.The first few days were terrible with temperatures touching 43 deg C.i seriously felt like running back at that time me being used to the more comfortable temperatures of Bangalore and Mysore.But the weather cooled down a bit due to the rains but the humidity remains the same since that time.Here are a few of the things i thought fit to talk about.I'm sorry if i have indulged into too much details but for the better or for the worse here it is.

                           I started house hunting and due to the excellent contacts of few of my relatives I found a nice little apartment of 2 bedrooms,attached bathroom and toilet and with a kitchen.Also luckily for me I got two of my colleagues from the medical college as my house-mates.It was also within our budget.The apartment is in Kalighat very near to the famous Kali temple of Kolkata.Its one of the more cleaner and better places of Kolkata.All necessary amenities are available in the neighbourhood although a wee bit expensive when it comes to food and shopping.It is only 15min travel time from my doorstep to the RIO thanks largely to the excellent Metro rail service here in Kolkata.The furnishings of this small little house has already cost me a bomb and my dad poorer by several thousands.Fortunately I hope this is the last of the numerous expenditures and I'll in all probability start getting my stipend from next month onwards making both me and my dad a little more comfortable.Still there are some loose ends to settle which should iron out in the next couple of months..

                     As regards to my Institute,it is one of the most premier institutes in India in the field of Ophthalmology.It is easily among the top 5 institutes for Ophthalmology in India.It has got the latest equipments including good operating microscopes,YAG lasers,DFA retinal cameras,automated perimetry,automated refaction,Ultrasound machines with biometery,inumerable slit lamps and also the OCT which is a new technology in the field of Ophthalmology.Most instruments(bout 80%) are from the company Carl Zeiss(they are the best).Clinically speaking amazing case load of 300-400 patients a day.I'm posted in the anterior segment,glaucoma and occuloplasty unit.Also fortunately it is also the head of the department's unit.So a typical week consists of one glaucoma/occuloplasty clinic day,2 OPD days,2 major OT days and one minor OT day.daily work timings are 8am to 6pm.I have one 30hr duty per week.But the best part is i'm free on 3 sundays out of 4 in a month.on that one sunday i have to do a 12hr shift at night along with the next day's work.Surgerywise too its excellent.on the two OT days we do 30-80 cataracts per day and that adds up to about 80-120 catatacts per week in my unit alone.also other surgeries like DCR,DCT,tarsoraphy,enucleation,evisceration,socket reconstruction and many smaller procedures are done regularly in the minor OT days.Though for the next one and a half yrs or so i wont be exposed so much into retina and squint surgeries i'm sure the next one and a half yrs are enough to make up for it.

                        As regards to working conditions it's been very pleasing to work in the RIO this last one month.all the senior pgs and the senior staff have been extremely supportive.Infact i get the feeling that i'm their collegue rather than their inferior in rank.they keep cracking jokes all the time having me in splits often so really having fun here.work is hectic considering the speciality is Ophthalmology which is relatively less busy than other surgical branches but seeing how some of my friends are working in surgical departments elsewhere in the country i should consider myself lucky.I atleast get enough time to grab a good night's sleep on most days unless i'm on emergency duty.I also get most of the sundays off which is a huge plus.the biggest thing suffering is my studies because i come back tired and i'm in no mood to study.though seniors says even they faced this problem during 1st yr and that the studies will improve in 2nd yr.but i dont want to wait until next yr to start studying and want to buck up on that front.also i'm facing a major problem regarding the language Bengali.It's absolutely essential to be conversant in Bengali since most patients dont know hindi and even case discussions in the wards and OPDs happen in Bengali.I cant understand how obstinate ppl are  here against learning the national language and also i wonder how they invented a Bengali term for Tarsoraphy:-).

                       The people here are impressive especially since they seem to be extremely clever and talented.what with half of bollywood and the likes of Amartya Sen,B C Roy,Sushmita Sen,Satyajit Ray,Rabindranath Tagore,Kishore Kumar,Leander Paes,Mahasweta Devi to name a few who hail from West Bengal.they are extremely talkative and use 10 words when they could use only two.they are also extremely stingy and dont spend enough to live keeping with their earning status with even the middle class resorting to dirty food on the steets.Oh and the food.too much potatoes,no vegetables,too much meat and too much sugar sums up the typically varietyless cuisine.they only have bread omlettle and poori-aloo to show as breakfast items.i'm having trouble with the food but a small sacrifice for all the good things i'm getting in return.but yes the sweet department is top notch.the rosagullas,sandesh,theer kadams are mouthwateringly delicious.The city is fine.it isnt as expensive as Bangalore,Chennai,Delhi and Mumbai.food prices are very reasonable.not much night life atleast my schedule doesnt permit me to explore anything as of now.the left govt which has run Bengal since 43yrs arent doing that well.a lot of strikes which start for really silly reasons and which i think is pretty shameful.the city especially central kolkata is filthy as hell.cant imagine these people live in such filth.the lower middle class and the illiterate make up 70% of the city which of course is responsible for the dirty neighbourhoods especially due to the street side food which is quite popular.

                       So here it is my rather detailed report of my first month in Kolkata.until i update again.ciao.

Raghuraj Hegde